


Half A Heart

by TheChief, YourForever



Series: Meta's Birthday Collection [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Clifford is kind of a dick in the beginning, F/M, Meta, Sorry Not Sorry, because I have a serious problem, but he has reasons, but there's cashton, here, jacie, not mentioned, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-23 00:53:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2527958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChief/pseuds/TheChief, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourForever/pseuds/YourForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So your friend’s been telling me you’ve been sleeping with my sweater and that you can’t stop missing me. Bet my friend’s been telling you I’m not doing much better ‘cause I’m missing half of me.</p><p>And being here without you is like I’m waking up to only half a blue sky, kinda there but not quite. I’m walking around with just one shoe. I’m half a heart without you. I’m half a man at best, with half an arrow in my chest.</p><p>I’m half a heart without you. Forget all we said that night. No, it doesn’t even matter ‘cause we both got split in two. </p><p>Though I try to get you out of my head, the truth is I got lost without you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This nearly as bad as it was supposed to be. And somehow it's bad too.
> 
> And I hate the cliche ending, but I've rewritten it four times and Meta has the alternate ending and doesn't know it and yeah. That one was sadder, but after her reaction, I thought I'd post a nice story.
> 
> Even if I hate myself for the cliched ending.

“I’m sorry, what was that? It looked an awful lot like you about to climb out of this bed.” Luke’s smile is lopsided and sleepy and I don’t wanna get up, I really don’t.

“I have to get up. Have to actually get things done.”

“New rule: you don’t now.” And, as though his words are final, he twines himself closer, one arm around my waist, his legs tangled with mine, his nose pressed just below my jaw.

“Luke. I have to get up.”

“No.” He’s like a petulant child, though I know he deserves it and I know that I won’t get the chance to lay in bed all day and just be for quite a few more months, so I give in with a soft smile, wiggling my way to where my phone is charging on the nightstand.

I send a text to my friend, apologize for missing on important shopping plans. They can wait.

This can’t.

Not really.

 

* * *

_I can’t really pin down a time when it started for sure. It could’ve been one of many too short conversations in the lunch line._

_Or the whispered knock knock jokes in the library. The ones that were never funny enough to deserve the fits of giggles they got._

_Or the passed notes in the halls between classes._

_It could’ve all triggered the friendship, but none of it developed into anything_ more _until one afternoon after school when Luke was waiting for his big brother to pick him up and we ended up behind the bleachers, hiding from the sun, with the football team practicing nearby._

_It started with nothing more than a shared smile and holding hands because he’d scraped his knee and I’d shared my cookies._

_That was back before we knew. Before we knew that you couldn’t hold hands with a friend._

_Our friendship was weird. It was a lot of the same as before, except more personal. The jokes got funnier and instead of passing notes, we’d hold hands in the hall between rooms. We’d tell each other stories instead of actually studying during freetime in the library._

_I didn’t even mind when I got a B on my maths test because I hadn’t studied the night before. Luke’s smile had been pure sunshine and I hadn’t been able to pull myself away from it._

* * *

 

 

“No.”

“You have to get up, Luke. Your tour, remember? With One Direction. Again.” I roll my eyes a bit at that part, but don’t say anything bad because they managed to get me Harry’s and Louis’s autographs.

And the other boys aren’t half bad.

They leave today. They’re getting onto a plane in a little under four hours and I know Ash will get nervous if Luke is late again.

“Up.”

“No.”

“Luke.” He groaned and curled closer. “Why not?”

“Don’t wanna leave you.”

“Me? I’ll be fine.”

“I might not be.”

 

* * *

_Our first kiss had been after classes one day. We’d been out at a picnic table, waiting for my dad so that Luke could cross the street to the school his mum taught at._

_Except, he’d been super hyped up about a concert he was supposed to be going to with Calum and Michael. He’d been so surprised that Michael had suddenly stopped hating him that year, for no particular reason, and he hadn’t questioned it._

_Of course, it left me kind of in the dark in the long run, but as soon as Luke heard my complaint, he dragged me to their table during lunch and it became a sort of habit for us._

_It wasn’t his first concert, just a local band playing, but apparently Michael knew the drummer and they were gonna stay after and hang out with the band._

_I’d been pouting and Luke had seen my dad’s car in the distance and couldn’t figure out a way to cheer me up since I was gonna be at my mum’s and couldn’t actually go with them. So, he’d leaned over and pressed a soft, hesitant kiss to my cheek. It had left me shocked and by the time I got my bearings back, he’d been waving as he trotted across the road and my dad had been right there, waiting for me._

* * *

 

 

“Love?”

“Yeah?” I look up from the book I’m reading and see Luke coming back from the bunks. The rule originally was no girls on the bus, but Luke had managed to talk Cal and Ash into letting me stay with them for the day so Michael’s vote had been useless.

Of course, I’d still had pizza delivered.

“What’re you up to?” He looks like he’s hiding something and I know his smile well enough.

“Catch up reading. What do you want?” I arch an eyebrow, but know that I’ll do whatever he asks. I always do.

“You.” His smile is brilliant as he takes my book, marking the page with an old brochure that’s sitting on the coffee table, and sets it off to the side.

“You have me. What are you trying to get out of me?” I arch an eyebrow, though don’t actually make a move to pull away from him as he sits beside me, an arm around my waist drawing me closer.

“Absolutely nothing.” He nuzzles into my neck, lips brushing my skin.

“You’re a shit liar, Hemmings.” I accuse, though I’m smiling too and we both know where exactly this is going to end up, with us breathless.

“She’s right.” And we pull apart because Michael’s there, sulking.

“I’m a talented liar.” Luke immediately moved to defend himself, even as I put a little bit of space between us. He might be fine with that in front of his bandmates, but excuse me for liking a little bit more decorum.

And, because simply walking away from what he’s walked in on would be giving in to the fact that there’s a girl on the bus, Michael has to step into the lounge and slide onto a seat, kicking his feet up and grabbing his phone from where it’s plugged in beside the couch.

When Luke coughs, I shoot him a pointed look. “Learn to share. I can wait.”

Luke pouts, but doesn’t fight me on it, instead curling into my side despite the fact that he’s so much bigger than me.

 

* * *

_I can remember how the kisses on the cheek became commonplace. He’d walk me to class and do it before walking off to his own locker even if he was gonna be late._

_Or when he was leaving to head home._

_Or when I saw him after school._

_Or even when we were at lunch with Calum and Michael and Luke was blushing at some joke they’d made and I had to head off because I had book club the second half of lunch hour._

_I can only just remember when kisses on the cheek became something else. Michael and Cal had been messing around through lunch and Luke’s cheeks had been bright red._

_This time, I’d leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek._

_Except he’d moved._

_I’d been mortified when my kiss had landed on the corner of his mouth. Instead of saying anything, we both froze before I’d pulled back and anchored my gaze on the hem of my t-shirt, fiddling with a loose string from my sleeves._

_Calum had chuckled and whispered something, Michael’s snort echoing in my ears and I’d been ready to get up and move._

_But Luke had shifted closer and curled a finger beneath my chin, bringing my face up so that he could smile and shrug and say “Accidents happen. Don’t worry about it.”_

_Which had hurt. Because I’d liked him for years by then and we were always holding hands and how could an almost kiss be an accident? Michael had glared at Luke, but I’d simply shrugged it off with a shaky smile and a weak laugh._

_Boys could be so thick._

* * *

 

 

“Luke.” His name is a breathless gasp between my lips and I can’t quite seem to finish any sentence and my thoughts are scattered.

But that doesn’t actually stop him from doing anything because he’s Luke.

So I curl my fingers tighter in his hair and pull him closer and don’t mind that his lip ring is a startling contrast to his mouth.

He stops what he’s doing and looks up to meet my gaze, eyes sparking with amusement. “Yes?”

“Shut up you smartass.” I try to sound determined, but he flexes his fingers halfway through the second word and my voice cracks. “Weren’t you doing something?”

“Oh, sorry, did you want me to continue with that.”

“You fucker.”

“Fine fine.” He shifted back down, leading with his tongue, his fingers twisting another groan out of me.

 

* * *

_I can remember our first date date. Luke had been so nervous and after the fourth try at asking me, in the lunch line this time, he’d finally sighed and given up and we’d gone back to the table._

_Except halfway through my second bite of pizza, Mikey had arrived, taken one look at Luke and Cal and huffed before taking the seat across from me._

_“Luke wants to know if you’ll go out with him tonight.”_

_It had taken a second for the words to sink in and match up with his odd behavior all morning and my gaze had gone straight to Luke who had looked completely petrified and hopeful all at once._

_It had been more than enough to get a smile curling up my mouth and I’d nodded and blushed._

_That night we’d asked his brother, Jack, to drive us to the movies and Luke had leaned over and pressed a kiss to my cheek and I’d had to go inside and punch the wall._

_For fuck’s sake._

* * *

 

 

“Hello?” I can’t see the clock from the position I’ve twisted into to reach my phone and I’m close enough to falling back asleep that I don’t care to move and find out.

“Babe?”

“Luke.” And suddenly I’m wide awake because he sounds almost sad and I can’t take the fact that I think there might be tears in his voice.

“Sorry. I know it’s late back home. I just…” He trails off and I hear vague mumbling followed by the beginning of a Busted song playing lightly in the background.

I guess he didn’t want to wake up the other boys.

“I wanna come home.”

“You have a tour to finish. I’ll be flying out in a few weeks to catch your last show and fly back with you, remember?”

“No. I’ll book the ticket. Come see me tomorrow. I’ll wait. I won’t want to, but I will. The boys and I can pick you up at the airport and you can stay on the bus for a few nights.”

“Babe.”

“We can get a hotel if you’d rather. Whatever.”

“Luke. Michael wasn’t happy the last time you broke the rules to get me on the bus, I’m not gonna ask to stay the night on it.”

“Hotel it is.”

He sounds desperate and lost and I want to go to him, but there’s so much I’m supposed to be doing. I have work. I have classes at the local university. It’s not the best, but I have to show up.

“I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“Please.”

“Just… Just give me a second.” Because I couldn’t do this to him. “I’ll send an email to my professor and then call a friend who owes me. They should be able to cover my shift at the restaurant… How long?”

“Marry me.”

“What?” I cough, almost choking.

“You heard me. I’m tired of waking up and reaching for you and not being able to find you or having to work around your school and job. If we get married I won’t make you sign anything and then you won’t have to work and you can go to school online or something.”

“Luke.”

“Say yes.”

“Book the plane ticket. Text me when it’s done and I’ll start packing my bags.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too. Get off the phone.”

I hang up and take a second, sitting on my bed in a state of shock before pushing myself out of bed and grabbing my laptop.

While waiting for it to start, I dial Michael’s number. Of the four boys, he doesn’t hate me, but he isn’t my biggest fan. He is also the one who would understand.

“What?” He sounds grumpy. Which is usual.

“Where’s Luke?”

“He just went off to the lounge after the loudest phone call ever. Why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be packing?”

“Good. You heard. Talk him out of it. I’ll still come see him. I know what it’s like to be homesick and I know that I’m a big reminder of home for Luke because we were raised together, but this marriage thing isn’t gonna work.”

The band was gonna get bigger. They could only get bigger. And Luke would meet someone better suited to this lifestyle. Someone better for him. Someone prettier and healthier who wouldn’t let Luke slack in any department. Wouldn’t give him an excuse to call them two weeks after their fight because they were too stubborn to be the first to apologize.

I had to let him find them still.

I didn’t want him too, but logically I knew it would happen. As soon as the band got signed onto One Direction’s tour, I’d been hit by it like a bus.

I was homegrown. I hadn’t ever planned on really leaving Australia. The only reason I had a passport was because of my ticket to a show in London that Luke had gotten for me.

I’d gotten the job and gone onto schooling at the university because I didn’t want Luke to think I was waiting on him. It would hurt like a bitch when he moved on, but I wouldn’t cling. I wouldn’t make him feel bad. I would let him get over it.

But this marriage thing? We’d talked about marriage in the later days of secondary school, but we’d been joking and now he sounded serious.

I keep telling myself that he’s homesick and that if I can tell him to wait, keep it all on hold for a few more weeks, he’ll realize that once he makes it back to Sydney.

“Why not?” Michael’s voice is echoing back at me, but I can’t quite believe what I’m hearing. He should be all over this. He’s always gone on about the band living forever and how long term isn’t the thing for them right now.

“Because he’s making a mistake.” I reply, dragging my duffel from my closet.

“You don’t know that.”

“Michael. I thought you’d be on my side in this. I’m not perfect. Luke needs someone so much more than me and you know it. Hell, I’m pretty sure you knew it before I did.”

“Pack your bags. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” And he hangs up.

 

* * *

_Our first real kiss had been about a month after our first date. We’d gone out a solid six more times just on random little things that Luke thought would be fun and they were._

_That day had been a picnic in a park. It had been clichéd and so gloriously perfect._

_Liz had packed food for us and Ben had agreed to stop by and pick us up an hour later._

_There had been another couple walking along a path nearby and Luke and I had been sprawled out in the grass without a blanket, drinking from soda cans with wrapped sandwiches._

_Nothing too romantic._

_Though, Liz’s brownies had always been to die for._

_Luke had actually stolen my brownie and was threatening to eat it when I’d rolled into him, knocking him flat onto his back in the grass. He’d dropped the brownie in the grass in surprise._

_After a split second, he pushed himself back up onto his elbows to glare at me, asking “what was that for?” I couldn’t help but grumble about the brownie before leaning over and pressing my lips to his._

_The date hadn’t really gone on from there. Ben had shown up to find us on the ground, barely having separated after that initial kiss._

_Of course, he’d teased Luke all the way back to my house, but hadn’t said anything when Luke had walked me to my front door and kissed me again, for real this time._

_It had been about time._

* * *

 

 

“Babe.”

“Luke.” My smile is strained and tired and I fall into Luke’s hug without a second thought.

“C’mon. We have to get back on the road. I just… God, I don’t know if I can do this without you by my side.”

“For now you won’t have to.” I assure, my mouth brushing the skin below his ear. “Though I still need to tell my boss how long I’m gonna be gone.”

“I already gave you an answer. You’re the one who never said yes.”

The silence grows thick and I can feel Luke tensing up beneath my hands, but Ashton calls out nearby, getting our attention and hurrying us along.

After a brief run in with a group of fans, we make it back onto the bus and Michael doesn’t say a word to me.

And we’re off.

 

* * *

_“Hey.”_

_“Hi.” We both sounded relieved and just a tad bit desperate because Luke had gone on holiday for a little over three weeks and it had been the longest we’ve gone without hanging out in a long time._

_It hadn’t helped that I’d gotten my phone taken away two days in._

_“You staying?” Andy stopped by Luke’s room on his way back downstairs after having deposited his suitcase._

_“Yeah.” Luke answered for me._

_“Well, we’ll probably be ordering out for takeaway. Any preferences?”_

_Luke glanced at me and we shared a small smile._

_“Actually..”_

_It had been our first date after that picnic and Luke and I had already agreed that it was one of the funner dates we’d been on. Still, the food was only sub-par so when Andy wrinkled his nose at the idea, we’d let the subject drop._

_“I missed you.” Luke buried his nose in my neck and snuggled closer, already ignoring the horror flick I’d put up on his television._

_“I missed you too.” I curled into each touch easily. “But, you know, we’re gonna have to get used to this bit if the band works out.”_

_“I know.” He didn’t sound as comfortable with it as I already was, but I wasn’t gonna push the subject any. We’d work out whatever happened next._

* * *

 

 

“Is he sleeping?” Calum asks as I leave the lounge and grab a water bottle.

“Yeah.”

“Good. It’s been a while since he was able to really sleep. You definitely help.”

“Nice to know I make a good sleeping pill.” I snort, twisting off the top of the water and taking a long pull.

“No, not like that. You just help him relax. You don’t have to hear the rants he goes off on that because of Michael’s no girls rule, you’re going to fall in love with someone else while he’s away.”

“Where would he get that idea?”

“Some bad dream he had a few weeks back.”

“Oh.” I tuck my water bottle against my side and head back, slipping under Luke’s blanket and curling up beside him.

 

* * *

_“I love you.”_

_It was dark and we were curled up together on the small bed in my house. Luke’s shirt had been discarded to the floor and I’d pressed closer to him._

_It was the first time either of us had said the words out loud and it had shocked me back out of the almost sleep I’d dozed into._

_“What?” My voice had cracked._

_“I love you.” He’d sounded determined and sure and had nuzzled into my neck, pressing a kiss just below my ear._

_“I, uh. Why?” Because that was the only thing I could think to ask._

_“Because it’s the least you deserve and I’m about to leave for a tour in another country and I’m gonna be gone for a while and I wanted you to know before I left.”_

_“But do you mean it?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“Don’t say it back. Not out of obligation. I’ll expect at our reunion when you meet me at the airport upon my return.” He joked it off, but I could still hear the slight waver of insecurity._

* * *

 

 

“Food!” Ashton calls back and I wince, jumping away from Luke despite the fact that we’re both still dressed. Well, kinda.

“Coming!” Luke calls back, sending me a look as if begging for pity. “C’mon. If he has to call a second time, he’ll come back here.” And neither of us really want that. So Luke hands me my shirt, but I steal his and pull it on instead.

“Hey.” His fingers search for the hem, but I brush his hand away.

“You have a whole bunk full of them. This one is mine.”

“You’re stealing all my clothes.”

“Only the ones I like.” I grin and stand, leading the way out to the front of the bus. The other boys are already unloaded, out and messing around on the pavement.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Luke’s arm curls around my waist, pulling me back against him. “You’re not going anywhere without me.”

“I’ll be fine Luke.” I roll my eyes, making to pull away.

“I wouldn’t survive.” He murmurs the words against my neck and I lean back against him instinctively.

 

* * *

_“I love you too.” My voice is breathless in the phone and I know Luke is shocked on the other end._

_“What?”_

_“You damned well heard me, Hemmo. Now, say it back so I can try to go to sleep.”_

_“I love you, babe.”_

_“I love you too.” And it had been a breath of relief to say it._

* * *

 

 

We’re officially on our way to the airport and Luke is dozing in his bunk when I slip in beside him.

“Okay.”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking about it and I think I’ve made up my mind.”

“Oh, really?” And you can tell he’s suddenly more awake than before. “And?”

“And I have a few conditions.”

“But yes?”

I sigh, taking a deep breath. “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Send requests to my [ Twitter ](http://www.twitter.com/littlebluemys) or my [ Tumblr ](http://www.bring-me-the-superwholock.tumblr.com/ask) or even in the comments here and I'll be sure to dedicate the story to you.
> 
> :)
> 
> Comment and kudos to tell me what you liked or, if you didn't, tell me in the comments too. I'll always respond.


End file.
